When My Armor Came Loose

Sometimes I think we underestimate the power of our church family.

Hebrews 10:25 says, "Not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching."

As you see the Day approaching.

Every single day, we're one day closer to seeing Jesus. Let that sink in, every single day.

That means every single day the enemy is fighting even harder to pull us away from Him. Not always in obvious ways, either. Sometimes it's discouragement. Sometimes it's fear. Sometimes it's bitterness, doubt, isolation, or exhaustion.

I don't think we always realize how cunning he is.

He knows exactly what affects me. He knows exactly what affects you.

Our stories aren't the same. Our struggles aren't the same. Our weaknesses aren't the same. Our pain isn’t the same.

So why would his attacks be the same?

Satan knows exactly how to attack me. Satan knows exactly how to attack you.

He knows when I'm having one of those days where the loss of Coty, my brother, my mom are more than just missing them. He whispers the things he knows will hurt me the most. The things meant to make me question who I am. The things that make me question what kind of mom I was. What kind of sister I was. What kind of daughter I was. The things that make cry out in despair. The things that make me question God.

That's why Scripture tells us to put on the full armor of God.

Ephesians 6:10-11 says,

"Finally, be strong in the Lord and in His mighty power. Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes."

The armor isn't just a nice picture Paul is painting us. We truly need it.

• The Belt of Truth (Ephesians 6:14)  Hold on to God's truth instead of believing the enemy's lies.

• The Breastplate of Righteousness (Ephesians 6:14)  Remember your identity is found in Christ, not in your failures, not in your pain, not in what the enemy is telling you.

• Feet Fitted with the Gospel of Peace (Ephesians 6:15)  Stand firm in the peace that only Jesus can give.

• The Shield of Faith (Ephesians 6:16)  Trust God's promises when fear, doubt, and anger come flying at you.

• The Helmet of Salvation (Ephesians 6:17)  Protect your mind by remembering who you belong to..

• The Sword of the Spirit, the Word of God (Ephesians 6:17)  Fight back with God's Word.

Last night reminded me just how relentless the devil can be.

He wasn't just attacking my thoughts. He was affecting my attitude too. I was angry. I was impatient. I snapped at people I love.

Looking back, I can see exactly what he was trying to do. If he couldn't keep me drowning in my grief, maybe he could get me to hurt the people closest to me. Maybe he could create distance between me and God.

Honestly, I had no intention of going to church last night. All I wanted to do was stay home, cry, be angry and sit in my pain. But the Holy Spirit was already working in me. I just kept feeling that nudge to get up and go.

So I did.

I put my armor on, but it wasn't fastened very well. It felt loose. I felt tired. I felt weak. I felt discouraged.

Then God did what He so often does. He used my church family.

Martha talked about divine vindication and we talked about Joseph's words in Genesis 50:20: "You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good." I couldn't help but think the devil may try use grief, pain, and loss to pull me away from God, but he doesn't get to decide the ending. God already has. He will take what was meant for harm and use it for good. Then she started talking about the way we are to speak to people.

Whew... talk about conviction.

James 1:19-20 tells us to be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry.

Ephesians 4:29 tells us not to let unwholesome words come out of our mouths, but only words that build others up.

As I sat there listening, I remember thinking, "Okay, okay Lord... I hear You." We've had this conversation many times before.

The Holy Spirit had already been convicting me already, and Martha's message confirmed exactly what He had been showing me. As Martha said... I ate crow.

When I got home, I apologized to the person I had spoken harshly to. Not because someone told me I should, but because the Holy Spirit had changed my heart.

Then Pastor Wes reminded me that God sees me. He sees my pain. He knows my heart. He knows every battle I'm fighting, even the ones nobody else can see.

The interesting part is... I already knew that.

Literally, just a few weeks earlier, I had taught our class about El Roi—The God Who Sees Me. Yet there I was, sitting in that chair, needing to be reminded of that very truth I shared with others.

Once again, I sat there listening and thinking, "Okay, okay Lord... I hear You."  

We just need God to remind us of what we forgot in the middle of the battle.

God didn't leave me to fight that battle alone. I know there will be more battles. We all will face them. But last night, He surrounded me with fellow soldiers. They prayed over me. They encouraged me. They helped tighten my armor.

By the time I left last night, something changed.

I still miss Coty. I still miss my brother. I still miss my mom. I still wish they were here. That didn't change. That will never change. But I wasn't sitting in the despair the enemy had been trying so hard to pull me into.

That's what God's armor does. Sometimes He strengthens us through His people.

That's why Hebrews tells us not to neglect meeting together. We truly do need each other.

There are days when your armor feels secure enough to help someone else tighten theirs. Then there are days when yours is barely hanging on, and someone else helps fasten it for you.

That's what the body of Christ is about.

So if you're having one of those days when you don't feel like going to church, go anyway. If you're tired, go anyway. If you're hurting, go anyway. If you think it won't make a difference, go anyway.

You never know who God is going to use to remind you of His truth, to pray over you,

encourage you, or help tighten your armor.

And if you don't feel like praying, pray anyway. Even if you don't know what to say, God already knows your heart. Romans 8:26 tells us that when we don't have the words, the Holy Spirit intercedes for us. Sometimes all you have is tears. Sometimes all you can say is, "Lord, help me." God hears those prayers too.

Life is hard, and following Christ isn't easy. But we are not alone. We're standing beside our brothers and sisters who are fighting the same enemy, serving the same Savior, and wearing the same armor.

If my testimony encourages even one person to get up, pray through the tears, walk through those church doors, or put on the armor of God, then sharing it is worth it.

And if you don't know Jesus, I hope you'll get to know Him. The hope I have isn't because life has been easy or because I have all the answers. It's because of Him. I promise you I would not be here if it wasn't for Him. He already knows your heart, your pain, your questions, your doubts, and every tear you've cried. He loves you more than you could ever imagine. Even now, Jesus is standing at the door and knocking (Revelation 3:20). My prayer is that you'll open your heart to Him and experience the love, peace, and hope that only He can give.

Because of Jesus, we already know how this battle ends. We don't fight hoping for victory. We stand firm in the victory He has already won.