Grief is Not Linear - and You're Not Doing Wrong

Grief doesn’t move in straight lines. It doesn’t follow steps or timelines, and it rarely looks the way we expect it to. 

One day you may feel steady—able to talk, work, or even laugh—and the next day the weight of your loss may feel just as heavy as it did before. That can be confusing and discouraging, especially when you start wondering if you should be “further along” by now. 

But grief doesn’t measure progress that way. 

Grief moves in waves. It revisits familiar places. It softens and sharpens without warning. None of this means you’re doing it wrong. It means your heart is responding to love and loss in a very human way. 

Grief also doesn’t live only in our thoughts—it lives in the body. Your body is processing what your mind cannot always put into words. 

Some days you may feel heavy and exhausted. Other days you may feel restless, on edge, or emotionally flooded. These shifts aren’t failures. They are signals. Your body is communicating what it needs in order to feel a little more steady. 

Instead of asking, “Why am I feeling this way?” It can be more helpful to gently ask, “What might my body need right now?” 

What Your Body Might Be Asking For 

If your body feels exhausted or heavy: It may be asking for rest. 

• A small goal might be lying down for a few minutes, sitting quietly, or going to bed earlier. 

If your breath feels tight or shallow: Your body may be asking for regulation. 

• A small goal might be taking three slow breaths, placing a hand over your heart, or stepping outside for fresh air. 

If you feel restless or on edge: Your system may be holding stress. 

• A small goal might be gentle movement, stretching, a short walk, or grounding your feet into the floor. 

If you feel numb or disconnected: Your body may be protecting you. 

• A small goal might be sensory comfort—holding something warm, listening to calming music, or wrapping up in a blanket. 

If your thoughts feel loud or overwhelming: Your nervous system may need quiet. 

• A small goal might be writing a few words down, setting a short timer for stillness, or lowering stimulation. 

These small goals are not meant to fix grief. They are meant to support you while you carry it. 

Grief does not ask you to heal quickly. It asks you to stay present, gently and honestly, with what is. 

Small Goal for Today 

Pause and check in with your body. Choose one small thing that feels supportive right now—and let that be enough.